Love Dare - Day 6

I spent a lot more time on the 6th dare than I originally intended. While I have been very busy and haven't taken the time to start on the seventh dare, I also spent more than a week working on the sixth. For me this process isn't just to make it though the list, I am working to develop better habits and change the way I handle my relationship with my wife and by extension my kids and pretty much everyone else in my life.

Here is the sixth dare:

Love is not irritable

Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule, then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

I think I have made some significant progress, in particular with making sure there is "free time" in my schedule. I'll keep my wrong motivations to myself, but now I keep in mind how to purge my reactions to them from my behavior and to work on confronting and resolving the issue.

Love Dare - Day 5

With the fifth dare the list starts to get a bit more specific about the particular things you will be working on in order to improve your relationship. Up to this point it has been painting with a pretty wide brush, now it starts to hone in on the specifics of what needs to be worked on.

The fifth dare requires some direct interaction with your significant other, it requires you to ask a direct question and simply accept the answer provided. The fifth dare is:

Love is not rude

Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them of justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

If your spouse knows about the Love Dare, this is where you tip your hand (if you were hiding it in the first place). In my case my wife is following along with my blog on occasion and is well aware of what I am doing. That doesn't change the goal, to work on unconditional love.

I asked her for a list of things (I wasn't going to limit it to three if she had more) that drive her nuts that I do. I won't provide the list, some were very personal and some are much more mundane. I will reveal one, she hates how I load the dishwasher, seems her father taught her well.

---===Todays Dare Update===---

I failed horribly on the 6th dare today. I'll continue to work on it but my first crack at it was an abysmal failure, I make no excuses for myself. It is something I really need to work on to begin with, falling flat on my face just puts an exclamation point on that fact.

Love Dare - Day 4

I ended up putting off the fourth day until Monday as it was almost impossible to do over the weekend. Breaking into your daily routine is easy enough, the issue was that my routine was what the dare asks for! I still asked what I could help with several times over the weekend, but it really wasn't fulfilling the intention of the dare so I didn't count it as completed.

Monday was different however, not that it was easy to find a time to "break in" as Courtney and I contact each other fairly often throughout the day for one thing or another. I am lucky enough to be able to go home for lunch as well, making it that much harder find a time in my routine that truly fulfills the dare.

For the record the fourth dare is:

Love is Thoughtful
Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

I ended up calling in mid-afternoon and we had a nice discussion about how her day was going. I asked if there was anything I could do for her and the answer was no. I tried again today but I had already assisted with the important task for the day, watching Austin so Courtney could take her Yoga final. Maybe I'll find something tonight (other than doing the dishes) to help her, but I feel that I understand the principle of the dare and have met it's goal.

I read the next dare this morning and it looks like the fairly simple ones are over, I am curious to see how the remainder of the day plays out and just how much I'll be willing to post tomorrow.

Out with the old, in with the new

One of the submissions for the Radical Innovation in Hospitality design competition really got my imagination going. The idea was to change an unused oil rig into a resort and spa powered by renewable energy sources. Inhabitat has the full description of the structure and the alternative energy ideas.

But I thought, why stop there? If it is possible to convert an unused oil rig to a self sustaining structure, why not work to make it an energy generating structure? If you didn't make the platform a resort but a small town that existed only to house the personnel required to service the equipment and support the workers then it should start out with a small output.

On top of that if you focused on making the available external energy producing areas as efficient as possible (4 wind turbines instead of one, as many high gain solar panels or Sterling engines as possible) and using the area around the rig for as many wave action energy generators as is feasible there should be significant energy output. If you add in some of the ocean current turbines that are currently being tested in Europe there is the possibility of not only testing a large number of renewable energy sources in real world conditions but also of producing a significant amount of energy per platform converted.

The two major obstacles to this being effective as an energy generation program for consumer consumption are means of delivery of the surplus energy and the regular storm season in the Gulf of Mexico.

The Hurricane issue is already a factor for active oil rigs and would have to be similar for any fixed platform in the gulf. There would have to be a way to secure the equipment prior to a storm strike, which may limit the amount of energy producing equipment that can be deployed at a single location. It would also mean an interruption in services that is unpredictable but could be mitigated by having a large number of functioning platforms spread all along the coast.

Means of delivery all depends on how the energy generated is intended to be used. Tankers are used to carry the oil but unless an extremely efficient flywheel system or other energy storage system is developed direct electricity transportation may not be feasible. New power lines could be run but may not be cost effective in particular for platforms that are far off shore. However if the electricity generated is used to create Hydrogen fuel that could be transported with relatively little modification to current natural gas tankers.

I am amused by the idea of old oil platforms being used to generate the fuel of tomorrows vehicles. It feels like a fitting rebirth for existing infrastructure.

Love Dare - Day 3

Yesterday was about building on the previous two days by not being selfish. The reasoning used in the Dare is interesting, so I went with it even though that is not all I think of when I envision myself being selfless. But it is a lot easier to see:

Love is not selfish
Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not invested in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today".

I let Courtney know that on the way home I needed to ship a package for an item I had sold on ebay, but I also took that extra time to stop by Floribunda. I bought all of the yellow tulips that they had, they are Courtney's favorite. I rang the doorbell and waited for a more dramatic effect, she was very surprised (and pleased) when I presented them to her. Guess I'm doing something right!