Running again

After a bit of procrastinating due to the cold weather, I finally started running again this past weekend. I had forgotten how sore you get for the first week or so, but it is well worth it for the benefits.

This morning Josh went running with me, so I decided to run at his pace. It wasn't so that I didn't push him too hard, it helps me not start off too fast for my current fitness level. Josh kept a steady and reasonably fast pace, and at some points I swear he was slowing down for me. I was certainly sweating more than he was once we got home, so I think next time we need to go more than 1.5 miles.

There are several reasons I started running again, getting in shape being a major one. I have slowly put on weight over the years, and cutting back on how much I eat only does so much. Plus it only works for so long, I love food and tend to eat whatever is available. I hope to be back to an average BMI and normal blood pressure by my next physical.

I am also running to improve my level of "happiness". As much as I hate to use the phrase, studies have shown that exercise can help improve your mood and decrease the symptoms of depression and anxiety. During exercise the brain releases endorphins, adrenaline, serotonin and dopamine. That is a lot of feel good chemicals to add to the sense of accomplishment.

And last but not least, it seems that exercise may also improve memory and learning. This is still under study, but recent research indicates that exercise may help newly formed brain cells take hold in our brain. Though this is a much smaller factor than using our minds for difficult tasks, I'll take all the additional help I can get!

Trying to write again

One of my reasons for starting this blog is to relearn how to write something other than an office document; I haven't written something personally creative since High School. I used to write poetry (pretty poorly, but hey I was young) and the normal required short stories and other writing that my classes demanded. But since High School I haven't so much as kept a journal, much less tried to keep my creative mind active by writing or painting.

Even just putting thoughts on paper turned out to be wonderful, I have started a journal and am amazed at what will come out by just letting my fingers work. I hope to be more creative or at least insightful for my blog entries, but that assessment is best left to others at this point lest my desire for success cloud my judgment.

Restarting this process has been harder than I thought, for the poetry in particular. I have been trying for the last several days to jump start my writing. First I went and bought a few supplies; a notebook that feels right in my hands, a pencil that is comfortable, and a few things to fill out my binder. After more than a day of writers block I decided to go dig out my old poetry. While I found the binder that I had stored all of my writing and sketching work in, I didn't find what I was looking for.

Memories of my writing are mostly positive, though I fondly recall some poems written in times of anger or sadness. But reading them now, for the first time in many years, I see an underlying current of sadness and loss. I had a hard time finding even one poem that was bright or happy enough for inspiration, and that single poem dealt only with the beauty of nature. Not the material I had expected to find, but insightful nonetheless.

While I didn't find the inspiration I was hoping for, I did find inspiration of a different kind. Focusing on the negative has never served me well, and only now am I actively working to change those habits. Part of my own Happiness Project is to "rehearse happiness", I have a real problem with doing the exact opposite even when I am trying not to. Working on writing something that is truly upbeat will hopefully help me change my default mode of thinking.

And if it's decent enough, I may even post it here.

Only a short time to live

I was fascinated today by the post at Zen Habits called "What would you do if you only had a short time to live?". The idea of trying to live in the here and now doing only what you deem truly important appeals to me. It is a great way to evaluate not only your life in general, but what you feel are the truly important things in your life. Family, friends, and if you are one of the lucky ones your job.

I decided to look at what I was doing throughout the day and ask myself, would I do this if I only had 6 months to live?

Playing with Austin was an easy yes, as was going home for lunch to spend some time with Courtney and Austin. Going to work hit a maybe on my list, I don't think that I am doing what I want to do for the rest of my life here. I like my job, but there is a "more" that I want and can't currently explain.

But I also ran into a few things that I have to do (other than just going to work) that I certainly would not do if I only had a short time to live. I needed to setup a meeting with a lawyer that I would not have bothered with if time was short. I am trying to address certain problems in my life that would be rendered almost meaningless in the short term but have profound implications long term.

So much is personal perspective, but looking though a lens of "what is important" helps define what it is you really want in life.